Okay, when I started looking at my friends Blogs every once in a while I'd see posts about being "tagged". I didn't know how you got tagged but I assumed it was like "steal the bacon" from Elementary School. Guess not.
So, for my new virgin blogging friends like me- What it means is, BEWARE!!! It takes the fun out of going to your friends links because there is the slightest chance your name will be at the bottom of one of their entries! I have been tagged for the first time so I will play along....
7 Random facts about me:
-I actually said prayers to win Publishers Clearing House. Is it even still around? I wonder if I still have a chance... I am a total bargainer, ooops.
-I love batters! Cake batter, cookie batter, pie dough, cinnamon pluck-it, you name it!
-I think I have split personality disorder. You are probably laughing because YOU know I do and you're wondering how it took me soooooooo long to figure this out.
-I CRAVE good, hard, can't breathe, uncontrolled snorting, make you cry BELLY LAUGHTER
-I really wish I could go live in Africa for a year on a safari
-I like to mix my corn and mashed potatoes- learned that from Uncle Bob
-I am at the point where I am truly considering marrying a short, fat, bald, (but please not smelly) middle aged man... Anyone got a rich uncle they want to auction off? As long as he can still breed, lets talk :)
ALRIGHT... Since I want you all to be prepared and get your practice... I'm tagging COLE, SACHIA, MARSHA, THERA, AMY and KRISTI. I think the rest of you have been tagged before. If not... Tune in next time... :)
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
And it only gets better....
Sorry I haven't BLOGGED in a while, life has been a little crazy...
First, my friends came in town from CA, UT, and WA for Halloween in Vegas--which was a very interesting story in and of itself but to spill details might cause embarrassment to others and the only one I am allowed to shame on here is me. Well me and ONE other person...
Lets talk about the word "hate"...
I know we teach our kids not to say it and to imply that I hate someone must mean that I had or have love for them on some level because they are polar opposites, BUT if most of us are honest- somewhere, sometime in our lives there has been a person we very very very strongly disliked="hate".
I personally claim 2.
One was back in college and she tried to talk smack about me (in my basement to a boy I happened to be having a little fling with) and I heard the whole conversation because I was laying on my floor listening through the heat vent with my other 2 roommates. And that "hate" wasn't long lasting, but was strong for the time. Yes, its a bit shameful I was lying on a floor of that disgusting house listening through a HEAT VENT, but my very keen Private Investigator skills told me I had reason to be suspicious and this avenue of creativity would confirm that.
And now there is my new "hate" person. I don't know what it is but when this person (who is obviously not a blogger, not related to a blogger and not friends with any of my blogging friends) calls me it drives me into a frenzy!!! He is a self-centered, oblivious, spoiled man-child. Lets call him a boy-child because he is definitely not a man. Oh I am mean I know! I have never been so fired up by anyone in my life and even though I make numerous snide, sarcastic comments-he doesn't get it. And I know in my gut, because he is so mentally challenged, he will call again... Yes, I have learned to send to voicemail, but it still chaps my hide :)
SIDE NOTE- I know I use poor grammar, skip the spellcheck, and use lots of run on sentences, sorry.
Moving on, lets get back to how fun and exciting my life is...
1- my younger brother ended up in the hospital Sunday night with stones in his gall bladder. Well, they'd like to do some surgery to take those puppies out and put them in a jar to show everyone BUT he has a fever and an inflamed pancreas, which seem to cause more alarm than the stones, and surgery can't be done until issues 2 and 3 are resolved. Guess what else he gets while in the hospital? NO FOOD OR WATER! Hello, this boy has been living on ice chips for 4 days now!!! I know you only get ice chips when you check in to have a baby, BUT, my brother is not the "man" on the news that had a baby!
Please feed my brother. And the starving children in Africa, while you're at it.
2-my wonderful, cute, lifeline of mine- my laptop- got a nasty virus and blew up. I just bought that little sucker 1.5 yrs ago and of course I didn't buy the "extended warranty"... Let this be a lesson to you all... You want to blog, you buy the stupid warranty. Oh, and you don't put off "backing up the important stuff" because its a little more work than blogging...
3-I sold my cute gay parakeets. No, they didn't fly away on their own in some uproar about me being a mormon and being in support of prop 8... They were screaming to the other birds in New Hampshire every day and I felt like it might be time to let someone else appreciate their beautiful love songs... Poor single dad and his 2 little girls, they have NO idea what they got themselves into. That money went to great use- refer back to #2.
So, after the FURY of my hate friend, the WORRY of my brother, the IRRITATION about my computer and the GRIEVING about my birds, I decided it was time for a little adventure!
Today I finished work and went to the DMV right across the street from one of the salons I service, thinking I should get myself a Nevada ID card so I can go to the library AND get discounts for my friends when they come in town... (Ive been here for a year now but cant give up my CA drivers license). Have any of you ever been to the Nevada DMV????? Anything I say would sound prejudicial and stereotypical, maybe even racist, so I will just leave it to- DONT GO. It took me more than an hour waiting in line and them rejecting my plea to get an ID but keep my CA license to figure out this was a horrible outing! So, after a long day and a waste of my precious time, I am thrilled to head home to get out of my heels and take a shower (it makes you feel dirty and stinky all over in there).
I hurry out to my car, hop in and BAM.... DEAD BATTERY.
Good thing my dad has AAA and good thing I spent all 4 years in High School mastering the art of forging his signature on "doctor appointments/family emergency" notes....
That sums up my week and why I have not put a gloriously funny post up! I hope you all had a calm Halloween, hug your yummy husbands, kiss AND FEED your kids, appreciate your pets, check your batteries AND RENEW YOUR LICENSES ONLINE!
Love you all!
First, my friends came in town from CA, UT, and WA for Halloween in Vegas--which was a very interesting story in and of itself but to spill details might cause embarrassment to others and the only one I am allowed to shame on here is me. Well me and ONE other person...
Lets talk about the word "hate"...
I know we teach our kids not to say it and to imply that I hate someone must mean that I had or have love for them on some level because they are polar opposites, BUT if most of us are honest- somewhere, sometime in our lives there has been a person we very very very strongly disliked="hate".
I personally claim 2.
One was back in college and she tried to talk smack about me (in my basement to a boy I happened to be having a little fling with) and I heard the whole conversation because I was laying on my floor listening through the heat vent with my other 2 roommates. And that "hate" wasn't long lasting, but was strong for the time. Yes, its a bit shameful I was lying on a floor of that disgusting house listening through a HEAT VENT, but my very keen Private Investigator skills told me I had reason to be suspicious and this avenue of creativity would confirm that.
And now there is my new "hate" person. I don't know what it is but when this person (who is obviously not a blogger, not related to a blogger and not friends with any of my blogging friends) calls me it drives me into a frenzy!!! He is a self-centered, oblivious, spoiled man-child. Lets call him a boy-child because he is definitely not a man. Oh I am mean I know! I have never been so fired up by anyone in my life and even though I make numerous snide, sarcastic comments-he doesn't get it. And I know in my gut, because he is so mentally challenged, he will call again... Yes, I have learned to send to voicemail, but it still chaps my hide :)
SIDE NOTE- I know I use poor grammar, skip the spellcheck, and use lots of run on sentences, sorry.
Moving on, lets get back to how fun and exciting my life is...
1- my younger brother ended up in the hospital Sunday night with stones in his gall bladder. Well, they'd like to do some surgery to take those puppies out and put them in a jar to show everyone BUT he has a fever and an inflamed pancreas, which seem to cause more alarm than the stones, and surgery can't be done until issues 2 and 3 are resolved. Guess what else he gets while in the hospital? NO FOOD OR WATER! Hello, this boy has been living on ice chips for 4 days now!!! I know you only get ice chips when you check in to have a baby, BUT, my brother is not the "man" on the news that had a baby!
Please feed my brother. And the starving children in Africa, while you're at it.
2-my wonderful, cute, lifeline of mine- my laptop- got a nasty virus and blew up. I just bought that little sucker 1.5 yrs ago and of course I didn't buy the "extended warranty"... Let this be a lesson to you all... You want to blog, you buy the stupid warranty. Oh, and you don't put off "backing up the important stuff" because its a little more work than blogging...
3-I sold my cute gay parakeets. No, they didn't fly away on their own in some uproar about me being a mormon and being in support of prop 8... They were screaming to the other birds in New Hampshire every day and I felt like it might be time to let someone else appreciate their beautiful love songs... Poor single dad and his 2 little girls, they have NO idea what they got themselves into. That money went to great use- refer back to #2.
So, after the FURY of my hate friend, the WORRY of my brother, the IRRITATION about my computer and the GRIEVING about my birds, I decided it was time for a little adventure!
Today I finished work and went to the DMV right across the street from one of the salons I service, thinking I should get myself a Nevada ID card so I can go to the library AND get discounts for my friends when they come in town... (Ive been here for a year now but cant give up my CA drivers license). Have any of you ever been to the Nevada DMV????? Anything I say would sound prejudicial and stereotypical, maybe even racist, so I will just leave it to- DONT GO. It took me more than an hour waiting in line and them rejecting my plea to get an ID but keep my CA license to figure out this was a horrible outing! So, after a long day and a waste of my precious time, I am thrilled to head home to get out of my heels and take a shower (it makes you feel dirty and stinky all over in there).
I hurry out to my car, hop in and BAM.... DEAD BATTERY.
Good thing my dad has AAA and good thing I spent all 4 years in High School mastering the art of forging his signature on "doctor appointments/family emergency" notes....
That sums up my week and why I have not put a gloriously funny post up! I hope you all had a calm Halloween, hug your yummy husbands, kiss AND FEED your kids, appreciate your pets, check your batteries AND RENEW YOUR LICENSES ONLINE!
Love you all!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Halloween weekend!!! Funny stories to come....
My younger brother Shane
Sonya, Michelle and Me
We love Corey!
Wait, where is SONYA?
Halloween with the girls
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Seriously, I am that retarded...
Okay, so here is my first story for your entertainment...
I've decided I want to become a runner! I've decided this many times before, but the only practice I do is in my dreams from scary creatures and I am normally in my underwear and I trip more than I run.
But this time, I am SERIOUS. What prompted this you ask? Well, my 61 year old father ran 11 miles on Saturday morning. And it wasnt a one time thing, he didn't just wake up and say, "hey, how bout I run 11 miles today", he runs EVERY OTHER MORNING at 5 am, never less than 6 miles... I hope that this humbles each of you like it does me as I sit here and my glorious non-runner flab hangs over my snaps. (Yes, I still have a pair of pants that snap-hello 80's!)
Anyway, so this is it! Even if one or both lungs collapse, I will run! My dad has challenged me to run with him 6 miles on Thanksgiving morning. This is a tradition in Mesa, AZ- its called the Turkey Trot. First of all, people run in AZ? Second, there is no "trot" in 6 miles Arizona heat!
It should be called "the Turkey kill" Come, run, die. How can you go home and eat a good meal after that?
Anyway, we will be doing this with my favorite couple, Kelli and Ryan... Both of them are runners too, so not only might this kill me, but it will definitely be a jog down the path of humility. Thank heaven there will be a stroller, and Jax is little so I'm pretty sure if I fight him for it, I will win.
Back to the point- I'm a rambler, sorry. So, I am serious about this now and I am PREPARED. I went out and got a pedometer, with a heart rate monitor (which beeps the entire time I run because I am on the verge of a heart attack, and there is a special noise for that) and mileage calculator because you are all high if you think i am taking one step past 6 miles. Then I updated my wonderful iPOD my girlfriends gave me for my birthday 2 years ago! What a great birthday present by the way! We all know its not a good idea for me to give MYSELF birthday presents anymore,,, well proven by last years gift.
Back to the running.
So, I run the other day and notice that after mile 2, yes, I made it 2, the balls of my feet start hurting! I call my all knowing father, who suggests "running insoles." HELLO, what a great invention! I rush right out and finally find some after 3 tries, and I hurry home, trim them down to fit in my shoes and shove my tortured feet right back in those shoes as quick as I can to experience this gloriousness! Um, problem... My toes feel squished now AND my heels feel like they are going to slip out if I were to even speed walk, (which is honestly my form of running). My solution? Tie my shoes up tighter... Now I have bloodless squished toes, and heels that are begging to slip out of their bondage. How am I supposed to run with these crappy things? My dad is an idiot! This is worse than before!!! So, I call him to tell him I'm out of that stupid trot unless I can walk in flip flops and my oh so wise, calm, patient father asks... "did you remove the original insoles FIRST?"
What?!?~ NO! The bottom of your tennies dont just slip right..... OH.... Oh yes they do.
36 and still a moron. :)
I've decided I want to become a runner! I've decided this many times before, but the only practice I do is in my dreams from scary creatures and I am normally in my underwear and I trip more than I run.
But this time, I am SERIOUS. What prompted this you ask? Well, my 61 year old father ran 11 miles on Saturday morning. And it wasnt a one time thing, he didn't just wake up and say, "hey, how bout I run 11 miles today", he runs EVERY OTHER MORNING at 5 am, never less than 6 miles... I hope that this humbles each of you like it does me as I sit here and my glorious non-runner flab hangs over my snaps. (Yes, I still have a pair of pants that snap-hello 80's!)
Anyway, so this is it! Even if one or both lungs collapse, I will run! My dad has challenged me to run with him 6 miles on Thanksgiving morning. This is a tradition in Mesa, AZ- its called the Turkey Trot. First of all, people run in AZ? Second, there is no "trot" in 6 miles Arizona heat!
It should be called "the Turkey kill" Come, run, die. How can you go home and eat a good meal after that?
Anyway, we will be doing this with my favorite couple, Kelli and Ryan... Both of them are runners too, so not only might this kill me, but it will definitely be a jog down the path of humility. Thank heaven there will be a stroller, and Jax is little so I'm pretty sure if I fight him for it, I will win.
Back to the point- I'm a rambler, sorry. So, I am serious about this now and I am PREPARED. I went out and got a pedometer, with a heart rate monitor (which beeps the entire time I run because I am on the verge of a heart attack, and there is a special noise for that) and mileage calculator because you are all high if you think i am taking one step past 6 miles. Then I updated my wonderful iPOD my girlfriends gave me for my birthday 2 years ago! What a great birthday present by the way! We all know its not a good idea for me to give MYSELF birthday presents anymore,,, well proven by last years gift.
Back to the running.
So, I run the other day and notice that after mile 2, yes, I made it 2, the balls of my feet start hurting! I call my all knowing father, who suggests "running insoles." HELLO, what a great invention! I rush right out and finally find some after 3 tries, and I hurry home, trim them down to fit in my shoes and shove my tortured feet right back in those shoes as quick as I can to experience this gloriousness! Um, problem... My toes feel squished now AND my heels feel like they are going to slip out if I were to even speed walk, (which is honestly my form of running). My solution? Tie my shoes up tighter... Now I have bloodless squished toes, and heels that are begging to slip out of their bondage. How am I supposed to run with these crappy things? My dad is an idiot! This is worse than before!!! So, I call him to tell him I'm out of that stupid trot unless I can walk in flip flops and my oh so wise, calm, patient father asks... "did you remove the original insoles FIRST?"
What?!?~ NO! The bottom of your tennies dont just slip right..... OH.... Oh yes they do.
36 and still a moron. :)
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
surrender
Ok, I am giving in!!!
Some of my best friends have blogs and I bookmark them all so I can keep up with their fun busy lives. I don't have an adorable husband and a house full of kids OR any mentionable wonderful talents I should be bragging about but I promise I will try and make my life seem interesting... :)
One of the best things in my life is, whether or not I want it this way, it turns out somewhat funny. Somehow I got the lucky lottery ticket that gave me the rights to make an ass out of myself on a regular basis. I don't know why but I attract "interesting" people and situations, which can ultimately make you laugh. So, I'll just promise to send those along for your enjoyment.
For today though, I'll add some pics of my favorite people! I got to spend last weekend with my family and loved it!
Some of my best friends have blogs and I bookmark them all so I can keep up with their fun busy lives. I don't have an adorable husband and a house full of kids OR any mentionable wonderful talents I should be bragging about but I promise I will try and make my life seem interesting... :)
One of the best things in my life is, whether or not I want it this way, it turns out somewhat funny. Somehow I got the lucky lottery ticket that gave me the rights to make an ass out of myself on a regular basis. I don't know why but I attract "interesting" people and situations, which can ultimately make you laugh. So, I'll just promise to send those along for your enjoyment.
For today though, I'll add some pics of my favorite people! I got to spend last weekend with my family and loved it!
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