Okay, so here is my first story for your entertainment...
I've decided I want to become a runner! I've decided this many times before, but the only practice I do is in my dreams from scary creatures and I am normally in my underwear and I trip more than I run.
But this time, I am SERIOUS. What prompted this you ask? Well, my 61 year old father ran 11 miles on Saturday morning. And it wasnt a one time thing, he didn't just wake up and say, "hey, how bout I run 11 miles today", he runs EVERY OTHER MORNING at 5 am, never less than 6 miles... I hope that this humbles each of you like it does me as I sit here and my glorious non-runner flab hangs over my snaps. (Yes, I still have a pair of pants that snap-hello 80's!)
Anyway, so this is it! Even if one or both lungs collapse, I will run! My dad has challenged me to run with him 6 miles on Thanksgiving morning. This is a tradition in Mesa, AZ- its called the Turkey Trot. First of all, people run in AZ? Second, there is no "trot" in 6 miles Arizona heat!
It should be called "the Turkey kill" Come, run, die. How can you go home and eat a good meal after that?
Anyway, we will be doing this with my favorite couple, Kelli and Ryan... Both of them are runners too, so not only might this kill me, but it will definitely be a jog down the path of humility. Thank heaven there will be a stroller, and Jax is little so I'm pretty sure if I fight him for it, I will win.
Back to the point- I'm a rambler, sorry. So, I am serious about this now and I am PREPARED. I went out and got a pedometer, with a heart rate monitor (which beeps the entire time I run because I am on the verge of a heart attack, and there is a special noise for that) and mileage calculator because you are all high if you think i am taking one step past 6 miles. Then I updated my wonderful iPOD my girlfriends gave me for my birthday 2 years ago! What a great birthday present by the way! We all know its not a good idea for me to give MYSELF birthday presents anymore,,, well proven by last years gift.
Back to the running.
So, I run the other day and notice that after mile 2, yes, I made it 2, the balls of my feet start hurting! I call my all knowing father, who suggests "running insoles." HELLO, what a great invention! I rush right out and finally find some after 3 tries, and I hurry home, trim them down to fit in my shoes and shove my tortured feet right back in those shoes as quick as I can to experience this gloriousness! Um, problem... My toes feel squished now AND my heels feel like they are going to slip out if I were to even speed walk, (which is honestly my form of running). My solution? Tie my shoes up tighter... Now I have bloodless squished toes, and heels that are begging to slip out of their bondage. How am I supposed to run with these crappy things? My dad is an idiot! This is worse than before!!! So, I call him to tell him I'm out of that stupid trot unless I can walk in flip flops and my oh so wise, calm, patient father asks... "did you remove the original insoles FIRST?"
What?!?~ NO! The bottom of your tennies dont just slip right..... OH.... Oh yes they do.
36 and still a moron. :)
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3 comments:
It's about time you got blogging! Hee hee! Funny story! I am proud of you for taking on the challenge! I myself can't even run 1 mile!! I just got the flu so it was an easy way to lose 10 pounds!
Ok so that was hillarious and knowing you made it even funnier. You give me more reasons to love you :) your cute. Good luck on the running and do some for me
Oh I wish I could run! I wish I had the energy and after having a baby, I have found that when I run or jump, I pee my pants a little bit! It's no fun at all. I guess I'll just sit on my fat ass and watch Oprah.
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