Monday, December 8, 2008

this month i am the tortoise

I always say I'm not the tortoise, not the hare- because I'm always somewhere in middle. No rush to be first but definitely not slow enough to be last... Sorry its taken me so long to write but I was waiting on photos. Since I don't have them yet, I'll just fill you in...

The TURKEY TROT- MY FIRST (and last) 10K on Thanksgiving.

Well, I made myself sick worrying about that but since I am here with hands on keyboard, it looks like I lived... Honestly it wasn't as bad as I had imagined. We got there a little late so we didn't start with the huge mass of runners, much to my dismay. I hoped that their energy would carry me the whole 6 miles, but whatever. The first 100 feet or so were great! Then I couldn't breathe. :)
I walked quickly for a little bit and then alternated between my speedwalk, which I'm sure is laughable, and my jog, which is never going to be a run. Somewhere between mile 2 and 3 I got this annoying cramp in my abdomen, which is odd since it is a complete 6-pack... 6 pack of premade jello cups that is. That cramp really makes me mad. I've gotten it the last 3 times I've run and it hurts. I don't understand where it comes from or why it rips my whole right abdomen apart, but again, whatever. I debated about quitting this stupid "trot" because I knew before I hit mile 4 my dad would be at the finish line. The smart thing about doing this out of state is that I couldn't quit because I had NO CLUE where in the hell I was! I was in Mesa, but I didn't have a cell phone and I didn't know how to get home so I had to freaking finish.

Well, here I was creeping up on mile 3 and a 86+ year old man comes crawling past me and that sure helped with the anger management. I turned up the life-saving iPOD, flipped to a song with a good beat and probably a bunch of dirty words and picked up the pace. Miles 4 and 5 werent bad, and I realized I was so close to the end!!! So, here I am looking for the finish line and who comes RUNNING past me? A ONE LEGGED MAN! Well, obviously he had an artificial leg. He had one of those cool ones that looks like an aluminum pancake turner on the bottom, its all aerodynamic for sports and stuff... Yes, that man passes me!!!! Hope they are serving HUMBLE pie at Thanksgiving dinner... So, anyway, I see the MILE 6 sign ahead, BUT THERE IS NO FINISH LINE WITH THAT MILE 6 SIGN!!! What is this crap? I was told it was 6 miles, not 6.23418 miles or whatever the #$&* it is!!! I am blistered, pissed, all jello'ed out and where is that stupid finish line?
Oh, there it is, around the corner behind the little grassy hill, where everyone who has finished, like 30 minutes ago, is twiddling their thumbs waiting with oxygen tanks for all us slowpokes. And there's Mom, with her camera, to mark this monumental moment!
So, long story long- I finished and I am alive. And I did beat the 86+ year old man. And a few other 12 year old kids. :)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

YOU Ran????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is this a true story...or based on a... Wow, i'm impressed Lis.
I decided i hate working out and running. It's amazing how life changes, huh.
I'm proud of you. Races will make you hate running more than anything. I should have warned you to stay away.

sachia said...

Cracking up!! I wish I could have been on the sidelines cheering you on. Woo hoo go speed racer! I would have yelled some fun things for you, I miss you. Thanks for the phone conversations and sometimes just letting me vent, next time it's your turn!

Megan said...

Okay, that is hilarious!!! Here is the trick to a no-cramp run that my dad taught me:
It is all in the breathing. While breathing in THROUGH YOUR NOSE, your stomach goes OUT like a pop belly...then while exhaling THROUGH YOUR MOUTH, your stomach is sucking back in...you know, like you are trying to look good in a swim suit. If you watch a baby closely that is how they breathe. At first it feels un-natural but you'll get the hang of it. It will become second nature. Most people do the opposite naturally....while breathing in they suck in air and their tummies go flat or in NOT OUT like it should. The breathing in through your nose and out your mouth is also KEY! Is this making sense? Anyways....hope this helps you out in the future! Congrats on finishing!!! Wish I could run again...I can't run 3 steps for the life of me or I end up hitting the mattress for WAY too long with numb weird legs. Good for you!!!

Aaron said...

Wow, you ran the Mesa Turkey Trot this year? So did I. Weird. I've got a blog post about it here: http://healthyaaron.blogspot.com/2008/11/year-2-week-4-wrapup.html

I've become quite the runner lately, and I'm doing my second marathon next week. But, I can still remember the agony of my first 10k, which was pretty much exactly as you describe.

It's too bad there's like 4000 people at the Turkey Trot, or I probably would have seen you there.