Thursday, January 29, 2009

Nothin finer...



I figure I should share this fun little story with you ladies that are married. If there is ever a day that you can't stand your husband or you wonder why in the hell you ever got married, I want you to think of this and then make your man some dinner!

On the first day of animal cop training class I noticed there was a guy sitting up front who looked somewhat like a guy I used to kiss in college, but he was bigger and didn't have freckles. Well, 3 days into training, my kisser look alike decided to start talking to me. He seemed friendly, has nice teeth and was somewhat funny.


So, within an hour of him introducing himself and saying a few friendly words, he starts sending me texts all during class, just pouring it on! (I am not good at flirting, and I run from aggressive guys). Before class ends he asks if we can go to dinner that night. So, I say I'm busy and try to make light of it since I have 2 more days with him in class. What happens next? He calls the minute I leave class. Then he texts later that night. And finally, I get a text at 2:30 am with a picture of him in it, "hoping this will influence me". I get to class the next day and immediately get more texts and so on and so forth.


In all these texts I notice it says 'NOTHIN FINER'. In the first message I thought he was trying to reinforce his undeniable attraction to me but when it started showing up on every text, I wondered if this was his signature of some sort. So I asked why thats on every message and he says,

"cuz there's NOTHIN FINER THAN CHUCK MINOR."

This is my life. This is what is attracted to me. These are the men that stalk me. Ladies, this is whats left in the single men pool. So the next time your husband rolls over snoring with his stinky breath and jiggly belly, I want you to remember this... Its down to North Dakotan, bull riding, "all natural" weight lifting stalkers named Chuck!


But there aint nothin finer....





Sunday, January 18, 2009

Animal Cops Rule!

Alright, anyone who knows me well knows that I am an animal lover through and through! I don't expect anyone else to be as nuts as I am, I know I'm "different"... :) But, I'm not the crazy girl who gives up burgers, steak or chicken- I can't do it. I haven't had lamb in like 20 years though because when I was young I was in 4-H, go ahead and laugh, and I raised 3 little lambs... Can't eat something that used to follow me around "baaaaahing" all day long.

Anyway, I didn't even know Animal Cops existed until Animal Planet did a show and now I have found my calling!!! First, I get to save little animals AND I get a gun! Hello, bossing people around, with authority, and saving little puppies.... What could be better!?!?!?! Well, if I was married with a family, there might be Higher callings, but since it is what it is-- I have found mine!

So, I have started some training and it is like living Law and Order. Crime scene investigation and photography, search warrants, testifying in court, self-defense, and public speaking. Hello, so fascinating and fun! I'm sure its nothing like a baby walking for the first time or any of that but its like being called home to the mother ship in Lisa land :)

Bet you can't wait to see me in uniform with a badge and bite stick, so sexy... Pit bulls and gangsta thugs here I come!